There are those "30 Day Challenge" things on Tumblr. Now I don't have the patience to do that over the course of 30 days, so I'm gonna do a huge blog post now.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I'm going to Emerson College.

2. I leave for college on the 30th, but a lot of my other friends leave much earlier. So it sucks saying goodbye to everybody.

3. I just cut my hair off for Locks of Love

4. I have two sisters, an older one and a younger one.

5. I am addicted to Tumblr.

6. I have a friend who looks like Taylor Hotner

7. My favorite TV show is either How I Met Your Mother or Glee.

8. I'm addicted to buying cute dresses.

9. I go to Lake George, New York every year with my dad's side of the family and it's wonderful.

10. I love my friends more than anybody else in the world.

11. I have watched every episode of Survivor.

12. My favorite book is Looking for Alaska by John Green.

13. My high school GPA was a 3.86

14. The only CD I currently have in my car is ALL CAPS.

15. I don't watch Doctor Who and I don't intend to.

Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name

T = Tara

Gal = I'm a girl

2 = My lucky number

27 = June 27th, my birthday

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

"http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs533.snc3/30275_429829367888_502007888_5446859_3694973_n.jpg">

or this one

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Picking at my nail beds. It's weird, but I can't help it!

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Superman is the essential super hero. Super strength, flying, just everything. I hate batman because he doesn't really have super powers, he just has a lot of money. And who wants to be a spider?

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

1. Move into college.

2. Make friends at college

Those are my goals because they are important to my life.

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Being responsible.

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Happy: Hey Soul Sister, Say Hey (I Love You), Summer of '09

I don't really have any other mood music, those are just the happiest songs I know.

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one

I followed a bunch of YouTubers on google reader and noticed that some of them had Tumblrs. So I made one and became addicted.

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Dear Emma,

I know, I'm the "Devil" and my friends are my "minions." I don't have a soul and I just use my powers to hurt you. I can understand why you were mad at me for some of the things I did. We were best friends and, from your point of view, I ditched you. But I did everything I could to save our friendship. I wanted to try to keep our friendship together, but it was impossible. You dragged me down with your constant negative attitude and complaining. You could never be happy for a whole day. You went out with David for two weeks, then cried about him for two months. And I was a good friend to you. I was a great friend to you. So was Wendy. So was Shafaq. We listened to you when you needed it. We wanted the best for you and for you to be happy, but we also wanted to be happy ourselves and you were preventing that. I tried to talk through it. We had phone calls where we talked about what was wrong, why we were drifting apart and why I couldn't stand you anymore. I wanted that to change, but it didn't.

So I understand if you were upset about the way things happened. You lost all your friends. But that's no reason to talk so much shit about me. You don't need to call my friends "Tara and those bitches." You were talking shit about me well before I even had any problems with you. And that, Emma, is why you hurt me. I'm upset that I wasted my junior year on you and your useless problems.

Love,

Tara.

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

It's old, but...

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

1. Good Night-- Kanye West ft. Mos Def

2. Don't Unplug Me -- All Caps

3. Billionaire-- Travie McCoy ft. Bruno Mars

4. Round & Round-- Selena Gomez & The Scene

5. Summer of '09 -- All Caps

6. Dynamite-- Taio Cruz

7. I Hate College-- Sam Adams

8. Just the Way You Are-- Bruno Mars

9. Bulletproof-- La Roux

10. All We Are-- One Repubic

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Three words: Luke Fucking Conard

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

1. Work on a program I enjoy.

2. Be comfortable financially.

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

My only nicknames are T and TC. Tara and Tara Claire.

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Tim. Jason. Luke.

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Everybody is different from everybody else in that the combination of qualities they possess is unique. However, individual characteristics are never solely in one person, therefore, answering this question would just be a list of traits others also contain.

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Dear parents,

I'll miss you, but thank God I'm leaving.

Love,

Tara

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

my cell phone

my keys

tin foil

5 lighters

a note pad

pencils

coins

Day 26- What you think about your friends

I'll cry if I start to think about them right now. I love them a lot and I don't know how I'll survive without them in college.

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

These things always look interesting, but I never have time for them. 30 days is a long time. But I had a couple hours.

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

I went to do it, but both pictures are pretty much identical, so it was useless.

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

How much I love my friends.

Day 30- Who are you?

I am me.

Facebook Boredom Surveys

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Made out for more than 3 minutes? Yes
2. Slept in a different bed? Yes
3. Made out in a movie theatre? No
4. made out with 2 different people in one night? Yes
5. Thought your cousin was hot? No
6. Been in love? No
7. Slept past noon? Yes
8. Taken a shower with the opposite sex? No
9. Gone over the speed limit? Yes
10. Painted your room? No
11. Drove a car? Yes
12. Danced in front of your mirror? Yes
13. Gotten a hickey? No
14. Been dumped? Yes
15. Stole money from a friend? No
16. Gotten in a car with people you just met? Yes
17. Been in a fist fight? No
18. Snuck out of your house? No
19. Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? Yes
20. Been arrested? No
21. Made out with a stranger? Yes
22. Left your house with out telling your parents? No
23. Had a crush on your neighbor? No
24. Ditched school to do something more fun? No
25. Slept in a bed with a member of the same or opposite sex? Yes
26. Seen someone die? No, I cannot see Thestrals
27. Been on a plane? Yes
28. Kissed a picture? Only jokingly
29. Slept in the opposite sex's bed? Yes
30. Love someone or miss someone right now? No
31. Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes
32. Made a snow angel? Yes
33. Played dress up? Yes
34. Cheated while playing a game? Yes
35. Been lonely? Yes
36. Fallen asleep at work/school Yes
37. Been to a club? No
38. Felt an earthquake? No
39. Touched a snake? Yes
40. Ran a red light? No
41. Been suspended from school? No
42. Had detention.. Yes
43. Been in a car? Yes
44. Hated the way you look? Yes
45. Witnessed a crime? No
46. Been lost? Yes
47. Been to the opposite side of the country? Yes
48. Felt like dying from embarrassment? Yes
49. Cried yourself to sleep? Yes
50. Sang karaoke? No
51. Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? Yes
52. Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose? Yes
53. Caught a snowflake on your tongue? Yes
54. Kissed in the rain? No
55. Sung in the shower? Yes
56. Had a dream that you married someone? Yes
57. Played getting married? No
58. Got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? No
59. Ever gone to school partially nude? No
60. Been a blind date? No
61. Sat on a roof top? No
62. Didn't take a shower for a week? No
63. Ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone? Yes
64. Played chicken? No
65. Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? Yes
66. Been told you're hot by a complete stranger? No
67. Broken a bone? Yes
68. Been easily amused? Yes
69. Laugh so hard you cry? Yes
70. Cheated on a test? Yes
71. Forgotten someone's name? Yes
72. Blacked out from drinking? No
73. Played a prank on someone? Yes
74. Gone to a late night movie? Yes
75. Made love to anything not human? No
76. Failed a class? No
77. Choked on something you're not supposed to eat? No
78. Played an instrument for more than 10 hours?No
79. Cheated on a girlfriend/boyfriend? No
80. Did you celebrate the 4th of July? Yes
81. Thrown strange objects? No
82. Felt like someone else? No...
83. Thought about running away? Yes
84. Ran away? No
85. Had detention and not attend it? No
86. Made parents cry? Yes
87. Cried over someone? Yes
88. Owned more than 5 sharpies? Yes
89. Dated someone more than once? No
90. Have a dog? Yes
91. Own an instrument? Yes
92. Been in a band? No
93. Drank 25 sodas in a day? No
94. Broken a cd? Yes
95. Shot a gun? No
96. Been on myspace for more than 5 hours? No
97. Fell asleep at the computer? Yes
98. Have a major crush on someone right now? No
99. Have a religion? Yes
100. Thought about what people would say at your funeral? Yes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do you have the guts take this survey? Yes
Would you do meth if it was legalized? No
Abortion: for or against it? Pro-Abortion
Do you think the world would fail with a female president? Not at all
Do you believe in the death penalty? No, not because I care about the criminals, but because it's more expensive to kill them than to keep them alive
Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already? Yes
Are you for or against premarital sex? For
Do you believe in God? Yes
Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized? Yes.
Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the country? Yes, but you gotta do what you gotta do to provide for your family.
A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it? Hell no
Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen? No
Should the war in Iraq be called off? Yes, it should have been a long time ago. When we invaded, we should've invaded with more troops and just gotten the whole thing done. Now we're stuck.
Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree? No, but it must only occur in certain situations.
Do you believe in spanking children? Not like "whoopass" spanking, but a little slap does them good.
Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars? Yes. I would burn anything for a million dollars
Who do you think would be a better president: McCain or Obama? O.B.A.M.A.
Do you think Obama will be killed? No, too much protection.
Should child predators be forced to wear signs identifying themselves ? Like a star of David? No.
Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers? No, I'm already very open about this stuff.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Open
2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? No
3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Out
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No
5. Do you like to use post-it notes? yes
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? No, I never cut coupons
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Bear, for sure.
8. Do you have freckles? Yes
9. Do you always smile for pictures? No, I hate my smile
10. What is your biggest pet peeve? I have too many... maybe stupid people pretending they run shit.
11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk? Sometimes
12. Have you ever peed in the woods? No
13. What about pooped in the woods? No
14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? Sometimes
15. Do you chew your pens and pencils? Yeah, it's a bad habit
16. How many people have you slept with this week? 0
17. What size is your bed? Twin
18. What is your Song of the week? Anything John Mayer
19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Sure, if they like men.
20. Do you still watch cartoons? Nope, except sometimes Family Guy
21. Whats your least favorite movie? New Moon. There's one I like less, but I can't think of it now...
22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? In my closet. Nobody would ever find it.
23. What do you drink with dinner? Diet Coke
24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Nothing
25. What is your favorite food? Chipotle
26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Mean Girls
27. Last person you kissed/kissed you? Dan
28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout? Nope
29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? How much money?
30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? Never
31. Can you change the oil on a car? No idea how.
32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Nope
33. Ran out of gas? Nope
34. Favorite kind of sandwich? salami, roast beef, and mayo
35 Best thing to eat for breakfast? taylor ham, egg, and cheese on a bagel
36. What is your usual bedtime? around 12, 1
37. Are you lazy? Yes, so lazy!
38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Whatever my sister dressed up as
39. What is your Chinese astrological sign? Monkey
40. How many languages can you speak? 2, English and French-ish
41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? Not anymore, but I read People every week.
42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos
43. Are you stubborn? Yes
44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Letterman
45. Ever watch soap operas? Nope
46. Afraid of heights? No, but afraid of falling
47. Sing in the car? Only if Naturally comes on
48. Dance in the shower? I would fall
49. Dance in the car? Hand dancing
50. Ever used a gun? Nope
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Senior Portrait
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? Most are, Rent isn't
53. Is Christmas stressful? Not at all
54. Ever eat a pierogi? Yes, my mom makes them sometiems
55. Favorite type of fruit pie? Cherry
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Lawyer, Yankee announcer
57. Do you believe in ghosts? I'm not sure.
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? ALL THE TIME
59. Take a vitamin daily? Nope
60. Wear slippers? Never
61. Wear a bath robe? Sometimes. I have a really comfy one.
62. What do you wear to bed? Anything.
63. First concert? Green Day
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Wal-Mart is life, but I go to Target more often.
65. Nike or Adidas? I really don't know the difference
66.Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Sunflower seeds
68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No, but that means "very good"
69. Ever take dance lessons? Yes, when I was little.
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? professional baseball player
71. Can you curl your tongue? Yes
72. Ever won a spelling bee? No
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yeah, that's retreat tears for you.
74. Own any record albums? Yes
75. Own a record player? Yes
76. Regularly burn incense? Nope
77. Ever been in love? I don't know... Possibly, but I won't know until I'm older.
78. Who would you like to see in concert? John Mayer or Lady Gaga
79. What was the last concert you saw? Battle of the Bands
80.Hot tea or cold tea? Hot
81.Tea or coffee? Tea
82. Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar. What's a sinckerdoodle?
83.Can you swim well? Yes, very well.
84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yeah, are there people who can't?
85. Are you patient? Pretty patient
86. DJ or band, at a wedding? DJ
87.Ever won a contest? Nope
88. Ever have plastic surgery? Nope
89. Which are better black or green olives? Neither. I don't like olives.
90.Can you knit or crochet? Both
91. Best room for a fireplace? Living room
92. Do you want to get married? Eventually
93. If married, how long have you been married? I'm not married
94. Who was your HS crush? I've had many.
95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? Not usually. I'm good at arguing though. No fits.
96. Do you have kids? No
97. Do you want kids? Yes
98. Whats your favorite color? Teal
99. Do you miss anyone right now? Not really
100. Did you watch, Next Great American Band on FOX? I started to, but I never got into it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

41 FACTS: Today

1. Talk to a boy or girl you like?: I don't really have one person I like, so I don't know how to answer that.
2. Learn anything new? Probably. I mean, I was in school for a day, so I have to had learned something.
3. Talk to an expert? Yes, my TV teacher.
4. Miss someone? Not really...

FACTS: Last Person Who

5. Laid in your bed other than you? I have no clue. I don't remember anybody ever doing that.
6. Made you cry? My grandma, in a good way
7. You went to the movies with? Kayla
8. Went to the mall with you? Kayla
9. You showered with? Nobody...
10. Said they loved you? Is it sad that I don't even remember the last time somebody told me they loved me? But probably either Wendy or Marshall.

FACTS: General stuff

11. Wheres your favorite hangout? My basement.
12. What are you most scared of this second? Not being able to pay for college
13. Does anyone like you? Sadly, yes. Only creepy people.
14. Have you ever farted? Anybody who says no to this is dead.
15. Are you lonely right now? No. Alone, but not lonely.
16. Song stuck in your head right now? None
17. Been on t.v or radio? Yes, that's sorta my thing.
18. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Yeah, I do that all the time. I must hate myself or something.
19. What color shirt do you have on now? No shirt. Black and white dress.
20. Name three things that you do every day? Go on Facebook, watch TMZ, put on clothes
21. Whats your favorite show? How I Met Your Mother
22. Who got you to join Myspace? I don't even remember back to those days.
23. Wish someone was next to you this morning when you woke up? No. I liked waking up alone.
24. What web site do you visit the most? Probably Facebook or Tumblr
25. Do you have plants in your room? No, they would be dead.
26. Who was the last person to hug you? I don't even remember my last hug.

21 SECRETS

1. WHAT IS YOUR DISPLAY NAME ABOUT? I'm not sure if I know how to answer these questions...
2. WHERE WAS YOUR DISPLAY PICTURE TAKEN? Greg's Car, if you're talking Facebook.
3. WHATS YOUR HEADLINE MEAN? ventventventventvent is me venting.
4. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD? Bored, tired.
5. WHATS YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSION? I have no clue. I don't really value many posessions.
6. HOW ARE THINGS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? Oh, my nonexistant relationship is great.
7. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WOULD YOU? Only to way in the past so I could meet Jesus or Shakespeare or Ben Franklin. Somebody awesome.
8. IF YOU COULD BE AN ANIMAL FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? Human.
9. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE? I almost died when I was 7 months old.
10.WHO IS YOUR MOST RECENT EX? Kenny, the dinosaur
11. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE? Only the people on Rainbow singing Umbrella
12. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Probably just their face in general, nothing specific about it.
13. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS? venti hot chocolate

Why I'm Stressed

I've been really stressed out recently, and here's what I have on my plate:

- I should be going to Youth Group and Confirmation rehearsals, but I'm not.
- French Club meetings, like, ALL THE FUCKING TIME!
- AP Calculus test on May 5th
- AP English test that I MUST get a 4 or a on
- Battle of the Bands on April 23rd
- Prom on May 20th
- Creative Writing homework. SO MUCH OF IT!!!
- French 20 point assignment
- I'm gonna start taking college courses in May...
- Making enough money to go to Emerson... which happens to be $45,000 a year.
- TV 2 Face Off coming up soon
- Making commercials for Daily
- Making commercials for the Class Officers
- $105 prom bids
- I need to find a prom dress!
- Finding a job... ugh.
- The chores my mother makes me do on top of all this.
- Trying to impress stupid boys who don't care about me at all.
- I have literally no money. I know that's come up on this before, but it's very true and very stressful.

I wish half this stuff would go away.

Recently...

I haven't blogged recently, mainly because I've had so much fun living, I don't have time to document it. But here, briefly, are some things that have happened:

- Stations of the Cross went out without any trouble. It was wonderful.
- I'm wearing Matt's necklace.
- I hooked up with Seth. Bad news bears.
- I hooked up with Solo. Yes, his name was Solo. He is a breakdancer.
- I asked Greg to prom via Chipotle burrito.
- I got rejected from the Emerson Honors Program.
- I met somebody I like, but I like him so much I don't have the balls to talk to him.
- New perfect CB
- Antioch got rescheduled.
- Became re-obsessed with Harry Potter and Mean Girls.
- Planned a trip down to Harry Potter World.
- Parties with friends. Funtimez
- Fell even more in love with Ellen Degeneres.
- Sucked at English.
- Been mad stressed out about class officer stuff. We need to raise $17,000 for prom. Fuck.
- Had a vacation. A well-deserved vacation.
- Became BFFLs with my teacher.
- I visit Greg a lot. It's nice.

I'm sure there's been so much more and I could go into a lot of detail about everything, but I just don't have time. For some reason, I love not being able to have the words to describe things. Somehow, that makes them better.

supah bowl and CB2

I've been preparing my Antioch talk. It's about how I only trust one person in my life.

I gave my talk to the team and they really liked it, but I almost cried. I never cry when I'm practicing it, so I can only imagine what it's gonna be like on the night of the actual retreat.

And I love everybody from church. They're all so supportive of me and they really like my talks. One boy kept saying how amazing my talk was. Then he wrote on my facebook wall that my song was stuck in his head. I was too excited to write back though.

I had a math test on Wednesday and I didn't know how to do any of the problems, so I brought them into church on Tuesday. CB2 helped me with them, but he didn't know how to do them either. But he's amazing and gives me butterflies. And I want his dad's job. He works with NBC and... just wow. I want to be him. And CB2 is super hot. And is in AP Calc. And loves old school Disney movies. So yeah, he's pretty much perfect.

I realized I'm a huge fan of turning on movies on TV for the last couple minutes. I love the end of movies more than I like watching the whole thing. Just today, I saw the ending of Legally Blonde and Mean Girls. And now I'm turning on the end of The Parent Trap. RIP Natasha Richardson.

Super Bowl is tomorrow and I'm super pumped for it. Originally, I was gonna go to my friend Ben's house to celebrate it, but that got canceled, so now I'm going to the same place I went last year. One of my best friends, Marshall, is actually in Miami and going to the Super Bowl. I was making fun of him and how my seats are better because I'm watching it in a movie theater room while he's really far away from the whole thing.

That's all for now. I'm watching The Soup now. Fun stuff. I want to blog more this year.

Burritos Eaten: 11

Books Read: 4
A Walk To Remember
Miles to Go
Fight Club
The Nanny Diaries

Movies Seen: 9
Amelie
Zoolander
Anchorman
Ruins
Monsters Inc.
Bleu
Dancer in the Dark
What a Girl Wants
Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist

See You Next Tuesday

I haven't written in here in a while.

I took my midterm recently. I got a B on it, which was nice. I also had projects in French and World Film and I got As on both of those. Also, for the marking period, my lowest grade is a B in AP English, so I'm happy with my grades. I've improved a lot this marking period.

Last weekend, I went to visit Greg. It was so much fun! We went to a frat party and it was so amazing. I met Greg's friend Alek who was awesome. I don't want to say too much about it, but let's just say that from what I remember, it was a great time.

And Shafaq finally did the greatest thing in the world. Ususally, all of my friends are too scared to say anything to Emma and I end up being the only one doing it. But Emma quit Mock Trial. Quit. She was the captain of the team and the head of her side, but she doesn't give a shit about the team. As long as it's on her college application, that's all that matters. The team had three days to train a new lawyer for her position. I don't use the word "cunt" loosely, but I've been using that word for her a lot.

Well the other day, Shafaq and Marshall were walking in the hallway and Shafaq noticed Emma walking in front of her. She worked up the courage to say, "Hey Marshall, look at that cunt walking in front of us." Emma started walking faster. They ran to catch up. And one last time, to make sure she heard, Shafaq said, "Hey, look at that cunt in front of us." She kept walking. As she opened the door to her room, she turned around to open the door to her classroom, Emma said, "Hey Marshall, there's a cunt next to you, too." Now Shafaq won't take any of this shit, so she ran back into the classroom, looked to make sure there were no teachers, and flipped Emma off. In front of everybody. I love that girl so much and now it's open season for Emma abuse.

Antioch is coming up in February and I'm working on my talk. I'm nervous about it this time beacause it's a different talk and I talk about how much Greg means to me. He'll be there, so it will be a little weird. My talk is about Trust and how I don't trust anybody except him.

I found a couple "diaries" I kept back in 2007 and it's weird reading back on them. I was having issues with Emma back then too and how she was condescending to me.

That's all I have time for. I need to go check my phone. I hope I can update this more often in the future.

Books Read: 4
Burritos Eaten: 11
Movies Seen: 7
Amelie
Zoolander
Anchorman
Ruins
Monsters Inc.
Bleu
Dancer in the Dark

Typical Emo Blog

I have low self-confidence.

I feel like shit about myself. No idea why, just do. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate thinking about how I look.

Since my last blog post, a lot of guy stuff has happened.
Seth- "I won't make you pay for the alcohol if you hook up with me!"
David- "But you're cute. I want to flirt with you, even if you think I'm gross."
Dan- "You're cute. We're gonna hook up before the end of the night."
Kevin- "You're hot! When are we gonna hook up?"
Victor- "Wanna give me a blow job? I won't even remember this tomorrow, so it's not like it matters."

Sure, all... nice compliments. It sounds like I'm bragging writing them because I don't even believe them. I mean sure, it feels nice when people say stuff to me, but I don't believe them at all. And I wish I saw what they see. The only person who compliments me regularly and (possibly) meaningfully is Dan. And he was the only one who I had semi-requited feelings for. (Not that he even had feelings for me... he just gets a lot of ass.)

I think my self-esteem stems from every guy I've encountered in the past. First there was Jeff who made sure I would never trust a guy again... then there was Anthony/Kenny/Pav who made sure I felt like shit about myself (even if that wasn't their intention).

Maybe it's the fact that now, anybody who I even have semi-feelings for doesn't like me. And maybe it's the fact that as soon as somebody does compliment me, I don't like them.

For me, it's a game. I want to hook up with somebody who's a challenge. I want to hook up with somebody who doesn't get much action because that means I'm special. That means I'm prettier or more interesting than the other girls there and that makes me feel good about myself.

But those guys don't like me, so I feel shitty about myself. And that's why I do what I do.

And here's a survey because I like these:

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Sitting in front of the TV studying for my math midterm.

2. Who are you in love with?
my best friend who has a girlfriend

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
I don't think so...

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
I'm sitting on my pink pillow.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Last week when I met up with Wayne, Bryan, and a few other cool kids for some fun activities.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
No.

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000
Well my parents paid $7,000 for it, but then I hit a deer. But we're getting it fixed... so yes.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
when I went to Chipotle... which was 2 days ago.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No.

10. Are you hot?
I'm a very nice temperature right now.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
agua

12. What are you wearing right now?
Pants my aunt got me for christmas, a ZEfron shirt, and that's it.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
I've never needed to wash it.

14. Last food that you ate?
About 5 of my sister's fries from McDonald's

15. Where were you last week at this time?
hahaha, at Bryan's house coming down from an intense high. Last week at this time was not fun.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Nope.

17. When is the last time you ran?
I make a point not to run. I enjoy skipping though.

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I watched my Pats get killed.

19. What is your favorite animal?
Humans.

20. Your dream vacation?
I would love to go to England to see everything there.

21. Last person's house you were in?
Probably Bryan's.

22. Worst injury you've ever had?
I've broken a shitload of bones, but the most annoying one was when I was on crutches for a couple weeks because of a bone bruise from a three legged race.

23. Have you been in love?
I thought I was, but I really wasn't.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
Not really.

25. Last play you saw?
My school's production of Dracula.

26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
A rare love for and knowledge of sports.

27. What are your plans for tonight?
Studying some Calc. I'm so much fun.

28. Who is the last person you sent a message or comment?
Wendy <3

29. Next trip you are going to take?
LBI! JERSEY SHORE BABY! FIST PUMPIN LIKE A CHAMP!

30. Ever go to camp?
I hated camp so much. Something about forcing kids to do activities they hate over the summer annoys me.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yes, I am quite intelligent and have a 3.8 GPA

32. What do you want to know about the future?
If I can afford college.

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Nah, I don't own that shit.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
Yes, but I hate the doctor and wish I didn't have to go.

35. Where is your best friend?
Probably at some airport getting ready to bomb something. Or at some party getting shitfaced. Depends on which best friend you're referring to.

36. How is your best friend?
Recovering from a NONMONO illness, which is good because I thought he gave me mono.

37. Do you have a tan?
I don't tan, I burn.

38. What are you listening to right now?
Nothing, but I will now turn on Pandora.

39. Do you collect anything?
Books.

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Me.

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
I've never been pulled over, but I had a close call last week.

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yes, only all the time.

43. What does your last text message say?
Just wondering haha me and rob are leaving noww I'm guessing doors are locked

44. Do you like hot sauce?
No, I don't like anything hot

45. Last time you took a shower?
Aujourd'hui

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Yes. I always need to do laundry.

47. What is your heritage?
Italian, Irish, English.

48. Are you someone's best friend?
I think so.

49. Are you rich?
I have no moneyz to go to college

50. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
sleeeeepinggggg



My New Year's resolution was to read 50 books and eat 50 Chipotle burritos. I will log my statistics here:
Total Books: 3
Total Burritos: 7